


Mars

by mutents



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ableist Language, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Derogatory Language, Falling Apart, Gen, Mental Anguish, Mental Instability, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Weapons, Weapons of Mass Destruction, angst like woah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3397835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutents/pseuds/mutents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The change is subtle - he slowly stops with the one night stands, doesn't shake hands at meeting, avoids touch altogether really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mars

**Author's Note:**

> A character study for my favorite Stark.
> 
> Because while he's a massively problematic douchewad, he's my massively problematic douchewad.

After Peggy told him what happened to her chief at the hands of his vest, and what had happened to the group of people at the theater because of his gas, Howard was struck by how much...  **violence** he had brought into the world.

He knew that he had always been like that, a harbinger of death. His mother had died a month after his birth. Erskine had died after knowing him. Bucky and hundreds of other  _good_ men were gone because of him.

Steve was dead, lying somewhere in the arctic, because of Howard Stark.

Howard Stark was like Midas, but with a touch of death.

* * *

After Howard got the call that Steve had gone down, he locked himself in his office with a bottle of his best brandy. He drank, and he cried, and he drank some more.

Then, he got to work.

It probably wasn't a good idea to invent drunk, but Howard found he truly couldn't bring himself to give a damn. Whenever he had been depressed in the past - when his father had died, when America had joined the war, when Erskine had been killed - he had worked on his inventions. The hover car had been in the wake of his fathers death. The vest was when America had joined the war effort. The gas had been when Erskine had been murdered right in front of his eyes.

This time, Howard worked on a whole 'nother kind of weapon.

This would be the one to beat them all.

This would bring down cities.

This would kill.

* * *

A shadowy government agency had asked after the bomb that Howard had made in the wake of Captain America's death. It had been called something like the "Office of National Emergency." All Howard knew was that he had said yes and had handed over the schematics to the bomb. A month later bombs were dropped on Hiroshima; days later, there was another one dropped on Nagasaki.

Over one hundred thousand men, women, and children were now dead.

And the blood was all on Howard's hands.

* * *

After the vest, Howard slept around less.

Sure, he still had the odd dalliance with a chorus girl. But it wasn't the constant string of floozies that it had been at one time.

If Jarvis noticed, he didn't say anything.

If Peggy noticed, she didn't say anything.

If anyone noticed, they didn't say anything.

* * *

Sometimes Howard would spend hours under the showerhead, trying to clean the red from his hands, trying to wash it down the drain.

It never worked. He would scrub his hands raw, but they would still be dirty.

They'd still cause death and destruction.

* * *

He drank more and more. Something about the alcohol calmed him, made him feel whole again.

It also made him angry.

Peggy had visited once, when he was on a bender. She had been sympathetic, trying to get Howard to open up to her. She tried to get him to feel better.

It hadn't worked.

He'd thrown an empty bottle of whiskey at her head.

She only just managed to dodge it.

* * *

The next day after Peggy had visited, Sousa had stopped in. He'd had a rage that Stark had never seen in the disabled agents eyes before.

It wasn't any match to the rage inside of Howard, though.

The two men had shouted at each other for hours, each trading harsh, verbal blows with the other. Stark had called Daniel "gimp" and "half-man" and "deformed". Sousa had called Stark "maniacal" and "butcher" and "demented".

Howard finally hissed at the man to  _get the fuck out_.

Daniel hadn't wasted another second on the broken Stark.

* * *

Howard tried to get back on Peggy and Daniel's good side.

He built Daniel a new prosthetic, a better prosthetic.

He bought Peggy the finest gowns.

He gave their kids toys.

Eventually, they let him back in the fold.

He hoped that it wouldn't end up being a mistake.

* * *

Howard met Maria when he had been visiting the Stark Industries Spain branch. The branch manager had been set on introducing Howard to his daughter.

Howard found himself charmed by the hispanic beauty.

* * *

Howard and Maria didn't have much of an intimate life. Howard hardly ever touched his wife, and Maria was far to nervous to initiate anything.

* * *

Howard never told Maria about the blood on his hands. He didn't want to mar her peace.

She still found out.

She found him in one of his low moments. He'd been sitting in his workshop, carving names into his arms.

_Abraham Erskine_

_James Buchanan Barnes_

_Steve Ro_

She caught him before he could finish writing the final name.

She never looked at him the same way again.

* * *

Jarvis knew.

Of course Jarvis knew.

Jarvis knew everything.

Jarvis tried to help, tried to make Howard feel better, tried to help prevent the lows from happening.

It never worked.

Inevitably, Howard would hit another bump and fall apart once again.

* * *

Maria hired Obadiah Stane.

Howard had absolutely nothing to do with the man.

No, his "darling" wife had brought in the other man. She'd been afraid that Howard might run his company into the ground.

Howard had only laughed at his wife's stupidity.

He'd never ruin Stark Industries.

Stane would.

* * *

The doctor offered Howard his son; Anthony, who was wrapped in a blue blanket and who's blue cap covered his light dusting of brown hair. Howard simply shook his head.

His hands were the Bringers of War.

* * *

Howard drank even more after Anthony's birth.

He didn't touch his son, or hug his son, or kiss his son. He ignored his son.

He didn't want to spread his disease to the most important creation he had ever made.

* * *

He slapped Maria when she didn't pay attention to Tony.

Maria drank when Howard didn't pay attention to her.

Tony just hid with Jarvis.

Jarvis tried to help.

Jarvis always tried.

* * *

Peggy and Daniel watched Tony whenever the two Stark's went to benefits.

Peggy and Daniel made the young Stark feel happy again.

Howard felt his heart break even more.

Howard wanted to make Tony feel happy.

* * *

They were driving home from a benefit of some kind. Howard couldn't remember what it had been for, just that the champagne had tasted awful and had little kick.

The car's headlights flashed across metal.

The car's headlights flashed across a face.

The car's headlights flashed across Bucky.

The last thought in Howard Stark's head was that perhaps now that he was dead, the dying would stop. The wars would stop. The blood would finally be washed free from his hands.

He would finally be saved.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually listened to very specific songs while I wrote this. I recommend that you guys listen to at least "Mars, the Bringer of War" - after all, that is what this was inspired by!


End file.
